i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
