I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Randomize
