went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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