Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
we're so committed to being not committed
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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