He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
