I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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