I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
