I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I think your dad took our porno
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
