They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
