she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
