The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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