covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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