You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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