the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
