My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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