she was so not down for the gang bang
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
