Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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