and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
