sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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