someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
