nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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