Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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