you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
