Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
