remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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