Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
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