my vag is so smooth its legendary
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Randomize
