people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
