Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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