end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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