I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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