What a fucking waste of an outfit
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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