I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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