hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
