as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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