Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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