im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
