i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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