That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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