ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
