You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
