Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
