We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
