What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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