we're blogging at a bar
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
