One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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