I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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