Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
