I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
