she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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