PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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